I was wandering in my own little world
- alone.
Years of sexual “exploration” through
soft-porn, lurid movies, and the internet had escalated into
a sexual battle, in which I was fighting for my life.
I honestly
believed my life was under control. There was the occasional
porn-magazine, the occasional porn rental, and “self-sex.” But
lately, things were getting worse. The fix needed to be bigger
and longer. I had graduated from the porn into acting out...
into strip clubs and lingerie shops. I had moved into “real
life” acting out - searching
now for prostitutes and escorts, surfing the local web sites
for meetings and encounters with new people.
This all escalated
over just a few years, while I was happily married with two
children. My life was out of control.
As you
can see, I was a mess. But unwilling to admit it. A friend
who saw my downfall recommended I get some help. He took me
to a “guest-night” at a local organization
called Dayspring. For the first time, I found a group of people
that understood what I was going through. Until I met others
in the same mess as me, I really believed that my problems
were unique. But over the next couple of years, through individual
counseling, group recovery processes, and larger group lecture
sessions, I was able to give this addiction up to God, and
live a balanced, sober life.
I owe a great debt to
Dayspring. I look back now, and wonder how I survived. God
has built a great place there, and I am forever in their debt.
Jack
T.
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